Quintel Beach, Lockhart River

Met a bloke who fancied he was Chopper Read, complete with long-drop moustache and small beard. He was deeply tanned and looked to be in his early seventies. Long silver hair stuck out the back of a 'Navy' baseball cap and he wore an orange work shirt from one of the nearby mines and a pair of 'stubby' shorts. He stopped to talk to me down at the beach as I came out of the shower and dangled his bare foot out of his car door and a short cigarette between two thick brown fingers.

"I died last Thursday" he said, laughing and stroking the ends of his moustache. His eyes were hidden behind his large sunglasses.

We have a live one here, I thought to myself. I didn't know what he was talking about because I haven't watched the news for about two months now, so he had to explain it all to me.

"I sold a gun to Chopper Read in the 1960's" he added. "Used to buy them in Rockhampton for $100 and sell them to the gangsters in Melbourne for $600. They thought they were smart" he grinned. "I reckoned I was smarter!"

Then he told me a story about a Palm Cockatoo dropping half-eaten nuts on his dog and him swearing  at it until the cockatoo dropped one on his head. And another about an Emerald Python taking over the dog's bed and the dog sleeping on top of the python.

I believed some of it!